Monday, July 31, 2023

閃閃

Edit/ she passed away at 3 am 26/7 😣

當我以為自己已經為FeLV+ DM 的 Mia 做到最好,勤力地早晚驗血,打針,睇實佢,陪住佢,餵最好嘅嘢俾佢食,佢竟然都可以喺從街上被救回的兩個月內hypo 又DKA, 兩樣都有即時生命危險。

什至令我覺得近乎係personal failure, 呢個情況都好罕有,我湊過咁多貓狗,就算有啲善終嘅,都好少會有咁嘅感覺,通常覺得盡咗力就可以。

湊Mia 嘅日子,令我有好多反思。

會諗長期病嘅小動物小朋友,
係咪真係會明白你做嘅嘢係為佢好呢?
定佢寧願短命啲快啲死算。

幾年前我都好似Mia 咁試過DKA, 嘔咗成晚,我絕對覺得自己係食物中毒加PMS, 點知朝早去到醫院時,等都唔使等。

啲人成日話咩急症室要等六個鐘八個鐘,我直接就被人送咗入ICU.... 住咗五日,所有人都話,你知唔知好危險,會死㗎。
有次我同K 醫生提起我呢次意外,佢就同同枱啲人話「你差啲見唔到佢㗎喇」

Mia 如果唔死嘅話,都要起碼住五日。好貴好貴。
好想佢可以得到細心溫柔嘅對待,同埋好起來。

>.< 頭先獸醫護士話,啱啱呢幾日,有另一個cat case, 係DKA 死咗
i was so shocked, 雖然啲人成日講到咁嚴重,
但我實際上無聽過人係咁死的。

我係嗰啲好少亂喊嘅堅強寶寶,但都流咗好多眼淚。

Mia好可能係曾經因為病,而被人遺棄出街的,佢可能從來無諗過有人(我哋)會咁想佢可以活長一啲,過多啲好嘅日子。

佢一路上真係遇到好多好多好愛佢嘅人,出錢出力,什至佢有十分之傳染性高的傳染病,都願意take her in to foster,寄雞肉俾佢,買玩具俾佢...

如果人性的光煇是閃閃發亮的碎片,在她身上會是披着這樣的一件外衣。
希望佢無事啦。

其實因為佢有FeLV,又咁瘦,唔止係DM, 我一直都唔敢太樂觀,我每次樂觀就會出問題, 尋日先講起希望by 聖誕 佢會肥返啲啲 >.<
不過,湊病人病動物就係咁。

I thought I did everything to ensure the best for FeLV+/DM Mia, which we rescued 2 months ago from the street, very skinny.
Learnt to test her BG morning and night, do injections, gave her the best food…

Almost felt like a personal failure, which is very rare for me. most of the time just felt like, as long as we tried our best, is ok, taking care of Mia led me to many reflections, e.g.

- Sometimes I feel frustrated when rescuers think we MUST take these very hard cases, but do they know how expensive and hard it is to care for her?

- How do we know if a life is worth saving, but she has so much good vibe, energy and love…….

- do they really know that we are giving her all these injection and blood check for her gd, just like chronically ill kids, I mean would they rather die instead?
And many more…..

The nurse told me just this week, another DKA cat patient didn't make it.

I also DKA a few years ago, vomited many times, I thought I had food poisoning, nth 2 bad, by the time I went to, A&E, they took me to ICU directly, no need cat 1, 2, 3, 4…….

Mia will need to stay a few days too if all is well….
V expensive of coz, but not just me, shes blessed with so much love since the day she’s rescued.

Shes partially unfortunate, but partially very lucky. Shining with glitters of humanity, if its sth visible.


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