你離去後的第一天
小Rosie 是繁殖場救出來的媽媽，因為不斷生育，前半生都住在細小, 髒兮兮、無陽光的籠裹，與自己屎尿同眠。所以身體瘦弱，前腳變型，行路一拐一拐的，整條尾龍骨都彎起來（所以我們為她做了一個大的手術）她一隻牙齒都沒有，小掌paws 紅腫了，都是多年來踏住鐵籠的痕跡。
這些年她常常跟我到學校和大公司去講慈善的動物講座，就算經過大手術後，她也是那麼冷靜、愛人的一隻小狗。在中環商業大廈的辦公室裹講talk ，她會愉快地圍住場地走一圈，向每個人問好，逗得那些銀行家們十分開心。沒有牙仔的她，連最怕狗狗的人都不怕她。她是一個真正的天使來的。
去年八月，她第一次癲癇發作，頭兩次都很嚴重，身體劇烈地抽筋掙扎，在地上瘋狂地扭動滾轉，四肢不受控。第一次發生時我嚇得大叫（你要知道我是個通常很鎮定的人呀）
那時我已一直有預感，她離去的日子可能比我們想像的早。雖然是如此，發生時仍是極之傷痛。
No matter where we go, everybody would comment how lucky Rosie is to have me, after her miserable years in the breeder, now she’s living by the sea, eating the best food, travelled extensively around hk and receiving the best medical care.
But I’m sure everybody who are close to me would know, she is the one who gave me so much mental grounding and physical support, in my sometimes very difficult life... it’s because she’s there, licking my tears, kissing me from my pain, brightening up my day with her beautiful eyes, keeping me accompanied in my spontaneous adventures, that things didn’t go worse, it’s not an exaggeration to say that she’s my therapy dog. She even went to see doctor with me 🙂
Perhaps she’s worrying about me now in heaven.
Even though I’m sad, but I’m sure we’re both so glad we’ve met each other. i wish she’s here, but she’s happy till the end.
Even though cremation is on Tuesday, I hope her spirit is with me already, I always believed life ends at death and the dead one lives in our hearts, but still I wonder slightly if she’s alone at the cremation place fridge now (the answer shd be no but I still can’t help thinking that) all these years I’ve been talking about these theories or cases on bereavement; we always talk about how to talk about death to others, and that you’d need to have your own view on death to talk about it with others, i thought I knew mine clearly, but this would still make me rethink.
at least i hope like everybody’s said, she have lived happily with us, even though way too short as compared to her years of sufferings!!! I hope most of her days was very very loved.
All our time together was full of love, even the most ordinary moments like morning walks. Rosie you came to earth to be an angel, you’ve graduated splendidly you know?
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