Monday, March 16, 2020

心中

你離去後的第三天 Day three after you're gone.
「我可唔可以帶埋Rosie」可能係我呢兩年半講得最多嘅一句說話之一。
It's best not to count to be honest, but it's so vivid to me.
As I said, I didn't feel totally unexpected, so it's not like some huge breakdown, but it's still very miserable. There are some sudden moments you wish urgently that you can rewind, JUST a few days, so we can go to the beach once more, so i can see you run once more, so you can go to the supermarket with me once more, and tears filled my bowl of lunch.
The spot where you used to sleep is now replaced by a white tuberose I picked on our usual favourite route together, where you kept me companied during my exercises.
I went and see the book where you are the main character this morning. I am so happy we printed the book at this local printer. They are struggling to survive now, they specialises in printing for restaurants and hotels, there's no job anymore if it was not for our picturebook.
The printer boss don't mind retiring early, but all his younger staffs who are breadwinner at home would suffer badly if the printer close down. I feel that it's part of the perfection that we chose to print there, even the lift in the old factory building is fun. My friends said that you are with me, I believed so, you are with me when we visited and looked at the sample.
I am so so thankful for everybody who reached out and messaged me, it meant so immensely to me, I know that many people wouldn't know what to say, but even seemingly repetitive things were comforting, reassuring, to know that we have tried our best for you, and you will always be in a better place without suffering and pain.
Yvonne said Rosie 有屬於佢自己嘅一本書 佢來到LAP 然後去到你身邊 又將故事畫出嚟教育下一代 係非常有意義的事」
Even though it’s so heartbreaking, but our happiness was so pure and so sufficient that it’s worth it.
Food is so overrated for me, Rosie, but you loved food dearly.

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